went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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