i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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