after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
