Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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