if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
