When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
