We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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