I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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