she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
