i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
