How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
