Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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