My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
