i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
