why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
