i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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