Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
