I just cut my nipple shaving
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
