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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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