They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
