Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
