no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
