so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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