I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
