Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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