I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
