she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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