i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
