would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
