I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
