I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
