And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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