I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
