that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
