Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
