My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
