I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
