That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
