is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize