KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize