am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize