i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
