youre lurking in front of me
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
