like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
