Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
