The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
