some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
