Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
