That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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