Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
