So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this hospital has no fireball
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
