Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
