either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize