You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
