just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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