very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
