Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Your dad touched me again.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
