worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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