Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
