how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We got so high we made milksteak
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
