no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
