I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize