so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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