I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
