ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just want nice things and good sex
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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