I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
