Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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