There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
